Lord, please plant me an orchard. And thank you for overnight mail.

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that I have tasted little of......it is one of those fruits that this adoption journey is watering and fertilizing in abundance.  It is safe to assume by the end of this process I, like many other mothers going through this process, will have an orchard full of it. My personality is such that the Lord typically chooses MAJOR, lengthy things to teach me lessons and generate fruit. He typically immerses me in something.  Sprinkling just doesn't have an affect on my stubborn self. Right now, I am immersed in the adoption of two older children from the beautiful country of Ethiopia. It is all-consuming. When I come up for breath...it is usually to turn to Scripture. It is the only way I can breathe through this.

One of the most common threads I see with folks who are adoptive parents is the fact that they are involved in some form of"waiting". It absolutely amazes me the patience they must practice to wait on a referral of a baby girl from anywhere.  I have heard stories of families waiting for over 3 years...just for the referral. This doesn't count the process they took part in ahead of time with their home study, nor does it take in to consideration the months they will wait for the adoption to be complete after they receive the referral. This isnt just waiting...it is waiting with an enormous amount of uncertainty. It is all-consuming waiting.

In our situation, we have been blessed with a relatively quick process primarily because we chose waiting children. They were waiting on parents to come forward for them instead of the other way around .  Although our process is not over and they are not home with us yet, there have been numerous instances where waiting has been a contibutor to my sanctification. Any time I am involved in a situation that is out of my control but that I care deeply about, patience must be practiced...and let's face it....adoption is full of those scenarios. I have no control over my agency. I have no control over the goverment. I have no way of expediting anything(except perhaps paying for overnight mail when I mail anything to the aformentioned groups-and I can't begin to tell you how much satisfaction this one little thing brings me. It is almost like a "fix" that a drug addict gets when they return to their drug of choice. I get a "mini-control fix" anytime I feel like I can speed anything up). I want my children home now. I want them home yesterday. Insert patience.

Another area that I have witnessed adoptive parents waiting occurs after they bring their children home.  So many of these kids have lived lives in institutions. They were never held or rocked as babies. They ultimately stopped crying when they were hungry because nobody came to feed them. They endured unimaginable hurt and loss. When these children get placed in loving families, they do not know how to attach. They remain distant. So many orphans do not know what it means to be loved and to love back. These adoptive families are waiting.  They are waiting for a sign of  a breakthrough. A sign that a connection has been made. They long for the day that child will willingly approach them to give them a hug. They long for the day that child will just make eye contact.  They are waiting. They return over and over again to James 1:2-8 which tells them;

 

"Consider it pure joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." 



I feel such a burden for these families who are waiting. I feel such a burden for the orphans who are waiting. And when I am overwhelmed and come up for air I turn to the Lord. His purpose in these waiting lives is such an important thing to pray about. There is a reason we are waiting. There is a reason they are waiting. The Lord is working in these moments. We are gaining endurance....some are gaining more endurance than a champion marathon runner. I must constantly remember to turn to Him and praise Him in these times. Instead of water breaks in these marathons...we need to stop and praise Him. We don't need to pour water over our backs. We need to pour into His Word.

  I was tagged in a relevant facebook post a couple of months ago and I shared it with some other adoptive families that I know. It said:

"While you are waiting on the Lord to open another door, praise Him in the hallway."

 

(picture courtesy of Easter Creek Farms laundry room-where lots of laundry is waiting to be done)

There are soooo many doors to go through in this adoption process. In our lives there have been doors closed so that we would walk towards open ones. There have been open doors that seemed to be at the end of a two-mile long hallway...and there have even been a couple of doors we have had to kick down-but regardess of where we are in the process, we need to praise Him. He is teaching us in these moments and we need to press in to Him, turn to His Word, and pray in these moments that we feel we will burst if we need to wait any longer. And these moments that seem unbearable will turn in to moments that we will ultimately cherish because they have brought us closer to Him.

Psalm 25:5 ESV
"Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. "